there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I think your dad took our porno
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
