I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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