everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
