so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We are all done wearing pants today
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
