The maid of honor just puked.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize