sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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