When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
