after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
