Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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