the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
