but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
