Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
