They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
