Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
