my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
is it fun? or sober?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
