i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
