You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize