plz talk dirty to me
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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