You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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