You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
