Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
