His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
