Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize