Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I've blown a few things in my day
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
