what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i believe in u and ur pee
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
please don't ironically join a cult
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