420 ftw
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
