I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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