i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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