I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
