Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
