So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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