I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
