Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
