you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
