Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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