I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
