Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
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