Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
