I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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