I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
