Whoa Z and x make the same sound
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
