well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
