I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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