thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
