y did u give ur computer a hand job?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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