so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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