I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
