Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
