this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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