I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize
