i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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