Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
