the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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