Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
