we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
