i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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