Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
