my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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