Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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