Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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