She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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