Where did you get a picture of my penis
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
