I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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