Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
